


The Equality in War

by BrokePerception



Category: Downton Abbey
Genre: Drama
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-06-01
Updated: 2012-06-01
Packaged: 2017-11-06 13:40:20
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 630
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/419530
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BrokePerception/pseuds/BrokePerception
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Mr. Bates quietly considers the meaning of words, like equality... like judgement.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Equality in War

**WARNING:** based on the very first episode alone!

* * *

It had all begun with an ad in the local newspaper.

Of course, John Bates had immediately recognized the name. Despite the fact that they had addressed one another by first name at the army, as equals (dare he say that?), John had never forgotten the position of Robert Crawley, Earl of Grantham.

It had been quite a tough time for him after the Boer War. He had obviously survived only with scars, which automatically caused others to be more judgmental and more reluctant to believe he could do his job.

From the moment people invited him to talk about the application and the details, suddenly the interest had waned. The aid to walk a bit easier had only been acquired quite recently, when his one knee had begun to slowly get worse. It had only made all those looks much worse, morphed more careful curiosity into judgmental and disapproving glares from those who thought they understood. John sighed, barely able to control his tears.

Every time John had applied for a job, there had been the doubt of adding information on his injuries. He usually chose not to. He wanted to prove himself and show himself as able enough to fulfill his job despite what he may or may not have left after the war. However, it had never quite worked. Experience had taught him that judgment was something funny, which already ensured he could never prove himself either way, no matter if he let others know by telling them or letting them see the obvious for themselves – for seeing, they would, no matter how hard he pushed himself daily.

Robert had known first hand there had been injuries to begin with, the more recent ones disregarded there or not. So when the Earl of Grantham had accepted his application nonetheless, John Bates had felt a sense of relief he had not felt in ages. Fighting in the war had not earned, you see. He had hardly had any money to begin with, and with him not getting a job afterward either, it had all been nearly gone as well. The attire he had worn on his first day at the Crawleys had been one of the only two decent ones he had still left, not having had the money for more and the others having been reduced to working clothes through the years.

They called him crippled, he knew. He hated the word, though it was a truth like no other. However, it was only the very first thing one noticed about him. No one seemed to believe him worthy of discovering more about... finding that in fact he was a person who always managed to push himself beyond his boundaries to please others, who truly knew the meaning of humility and being unable to fulfill, yet having to.

He had had hope that at least the Earl would see past his injuries due to their past, look at the warm man beyond, who had not changed since the war. Indeed, Robert had rescued him by merely having accepted his honest offer.

Robert Crawley had accepted him for what more he was but crippled... though others had not. They had not done the effort, not thought him worthy.

He cried for to what he had been reduced, the fear of never really being seen for what he was anymore gripping his heart. He had fought hard to remain alive in war and yet defend his country and his companions. Who was he, though? In war, they had all been the same... but once it had been over, he was still the same worthless guy he had always been treated as.

Judgment was quite funny, but maybe most of all unfair.


End file.
